


Growing Pains

by InTheCompanyOfDragons



Series: Brotherhood AU [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Big Brother Dean, Brotherhood AU, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective John Winchester, Sam Winchester's Visions, Teenage Sam Winchester, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-08 10:36:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1937697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheCompanyOfDragons/pseuds/InTheCompanyOfDragons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Caleb comes to town to help Dean out with a rebellious Sam, Sam begins to have nightmares about things that he shouldn't ever remembered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Growing Pains  
Sam: 16  
Dean: 20  
Caleb: 28

It had been a while since Caleb had seen Sam, ever since Sam had hit his teenaged years he had started growing more and more argumentative and moody and the environment in the Winchester household was getting tense. It had only gotten worse since Sam had gotten his ring and became an official member of the Brotherhood. 

It was no secret that Sam didn’t want this life, and now he felt like getting his ring was just another way for his family to keep him from leaving. Usually whenever Caleb was in town he would meet Dean at a diner or bar because Caleb knew the guy needed a break from all the fighting. Dean loved his Dad and brother, and when they fought, he tried to be the peacemaker and the other two Winchester couldn’t see that all the fighting was tearing them apart. This week though, Caleb was planning on meeting Sam and Dean in Texas at their latest home. 

Sam had just finished school for the year and John had left the boys in a motel for the month while him and Bobby went to deal with some hunts in the area. John had basically left Dean with the responsibility of knocking the attitude out of Sam when he was gone. Caleb decided to go and help Dean out because he knew a thing or two about moody teenagers, after all he had lived through Dean’s teenaged angst, and although he would never admit it to his father, he had been a handful too. He pulled into the motel parking lot a little after one in the morning, and grimaced at the run down motel in front of him. Another classic Winchester home base, definitely a place you could rent by the month, day, or hour. He knocked on the door and wasn’t surprised when it swung open and there was a nine millimeter pointing at his chest. Dean quickly lowered the weapon and put the safety on and Caleb stepped into the room. 

“You know Deuce, in any world but ours it would be weird to have your closest friend point a gun at you as a hello.” Caleb said calmly dropping his bag on the floor. Dean smirked and closed the door behind Caleb.

“Yeah well gotta keep you on your toes Damien.” Caleb rolled his eyes.

“Where’s the Runt?”

“Wish I knew.” Dean sighed. “I told him to be home by ten, shows how much he listens to me.”

“Are you sure he is okay?” Caleb was genuinely concerned, he never liked when one of the Winchesters was off on their own without any protection. “Should we go look for him?” 

“Nah, he just likes to break curfew lately.” Caleb frowned and shook his head. 

“I always knew he was going to be the rebellious one out of the two of you, I just never thought I would see the day Sammy stopped listening to you, your Dad maybe, but never you.” Dean sighed, and ran his hand through his hair. 

“It’s been a long time since you have seen him, he ain’t the same kid that you knew.” Caleb felt guilty; he should have been around more. “You thought he was mouthy before? Just wait; you will see why I always go out with you instead of bringing you back here. Oh and you may want to rethink the Runt nickname, the kid is growing like a friggin’ weed.” Caleb and Dean were sitting in the kitchen drinking beers when Sam finally strolled in at two thirty in the morning. Dean was right about one thing, the kid must be narrowing in on six feet tell and he was starting to fill out, much less gangly since the last time Caleb had seen him. His hair had only gotten longer, and a curtain of thick bangs covered his eyes.

“What the hell have you been feeding this kid Deuce?” Caleb said, Sam nodded his greeting to Caleb and want to the fridge. He grabbed an apple and sat down across from Dean who was staring at his little brother with anger and heat, Sam just calmly stared back while he chewed on his food. 

“So you gonna tell me?” Dean said evenly, Sam quirked an eyebrow at his brother, in a way that reminded Caleb of John.

“Tell you what?” Sam asked innocently. 

“How about where you have been for the last four hours?”

“Around.” Sam replied coolly. Caleb ducked his head trying to hide his smirk, he had to give it to Sam, the kid had balls.

“Well thanks for that Sam, do you care to elaborate?” 

“Not really, I was just out with some people.”

“And you missed curfew because?” Sam tossed the apple core into the trashcan, and stared back at his brother. 

“Because I am not going to be home at ten o’clock for the rest of the summer and you are not my fucking father, so stop trying to enforce your stupid rules on me.” Dean flinched; Caleb knew that hurt his friend, Dean had practically raised the kid alone while John had been off killing monsters. 

“Right.” Dean responded sarcastically. “Because you always do exactly as Dad says without argument.” Sam grunted and left the table; he put his bag on the bed and began pulling clothes out of his duffel. 

“Well I made it home safe and sound, so now you and Caleb can go out, get drunk and pick up cheap hookers.” Sam walked out of the room and slammed the bathroom door behind him. 

“We weren’t done Sam!” Dean yelled. 

“Go to hell Dean!” Dean mumbled something under his breath and downed the rest of his beer, and when he looked over at Caleb, who was smiling wildly. 

“What the hell are you smiling about Reaves? I swear to God I am gonna kill the little brat by the end of the summer.” Caleb laughed out loud at that.

“No, you won’t. There were lots of times I wanted to kill you, but I didn’t.” Dean looked deeply offended at the comment.

“Please Damien, I was never that bad.” 

“Oh yes, you were, you drove me crazy, but you calmed down eventually, and so will he.” Dean sighed.

“Any way to make it go by faster?” Caleb smirked.

“Well… you got better once I took you to the Red Caboose…” Dean choked on his beer, and looked absolutely horrified. 

“No way in hell Damien.”

“Hey, Sammy is older then you were when I first took you there, maybe it’s time for him to get laid, work out that teenaged angst on something fun.” 

“Yeah but Sam’s… you know, Sam…” Caleb laughed and shook his head.

“I was joking kid, Sam is definitely gonna have to wait a little longer then we did. Maybe we could just make him run extra drills or something.” Sam came out of the bathroom and sat down on the third bed farthest from the door with his headphones in his ears ignoring the other two men in the room. He fell asleep quickly; after all it was early in the morning. Dean took the CD player and headphones away from his brother and stood there watching him for a second, a small grin making its way across his face.

“He still looks like a little kid when he is asleep…” Dean said. 

“Yeah well, cherish it Deuce, because before you know it, he is gonna be awake again.” Dean smirked, and both men went to their separate beds to get some much needed rest. Caleb was woken up a few hours later by a feeling of panic, and it wasn’t his panic that he was feeling. He had always been emotionally connected to the Winchesters, and he sat up in his bed, looking around in the dark. 

“Deuce?” Caleb said.

“Mmmm…. What?” Dean grumbled.

“Are you okay?” Dean sat up and turned on the light.

“Of course I’m okay, what are you talking about?” 

“Something’s wrong…” Caleb and Dean turned towards Sam as he began to move and whine in his sleep. Dean was at his side quickly attempting to wake him up, Caleb followed, feeling the panic increase as their youngest tossed and turned on the bed. 

“Sammy, wake up.” Dean grabbed Sam’s shoulder, and Sam screamed. “Sam!” Dean yelled and Sam’s eyes flew open, he felt the hand on his shoulder, and back away from it falling off the other side of the bed. He curled into himself, and looked up with glazed eyes, staring at the ceiling above the bed, his breathing ragged and choppy. 

“Dean, he is having a frigging panic attack.”

“I know.” Dean pulled his brother up onto his chest, and put his hand over Sam’s heart. “Sammy, can you hear me?” Sam nodded his head, but kept his eyes firmly planted on the ceiling. “Can you look at me?” Dean turned Sam’s head towards him and Sam tore his eyes from the ceiling and focused on Dean, flicking his eyes between Dean and Caleb, who was now crouched down on the floor beside the brothers watching as Sam struggled to take a deep breath. Sam was still struggling to breath, and his eyes began to close as the darkness began to close in around him. His grip tightened on Dean’s shirt trying to communicate that he couldn’t get any air into his lungs. 

“Hey! C’mon kid, stay awake.” Caleb said. Sam’s eyes flew back open, and he listened to his brother’s heartbeat, trying to match his breathing to Dean’s just like he used to when he was a little kid and after a few minutes his own breathing evened out, and Sam pushed away from Dean, stood up on uneasy legs and went into the bathroom and turned on the tap. Caleb and Dean remained sitting on the floor, unsure of what to do next listening to the sound of the tap running in the bathroom. 

“Well that was a hell of a nightmare…” Caleb said.

“Yeah… I didn’t think he still had nightmares… but that was definitely the worst I have seen in a long time.” Dean walked over to the bathroom door and knocked on the door softly. “Sammy? You alright in there?” The tap turned off, and Sam opened the door, but didn’t look at Dean, he kept his eyes downcast. 

“M’fine…” Sam said, but Caleb could tell he wasn’t Sam was hiding something from them, but when Caleb went looking he felt a pain in his head, Sam was blocking him out. 

“Stay out of my head Caleb.” Sam said sharply. He sat down at the table and seemed to be deep in thought. Dean gave him his space, and Caleb and him went back to the other side of the room, and sat on their beds, waiting for Sam to say something. After awhile Sam came over and sat on the end Dean’s bed, he rubbed his eyes, his head was hurting. “Dean?” 

“What’s up kid?” 

“I… I need to ask you something… but you can’t get mad at me okay?” Dean frowned, and looked at Caleb, who shrugged. 

“Sammy, you know you can ask me anything…” Sam met his brother’s eyes, and all Dean saw was the five year old Dean had raised instead of the moody sixteen year old Sam now was. 

“Dean, just promise me…” 

“Okay Sam, I promise.” 

“The night that Mom died…” Dean tensed, but said nothing; he had promised he wouldn’t get mad, even though every time he thought about his Mom it hurt him. “Was she wearing a white nightgown?” Dean’s eyes flew up to look at his little brother and then he looked over at Caleb who was watching the brothers carefully.

“Why would you ask that Sam?” 

“Dean, was she wearing a white nightgown!” Sam asked again. Dean couldn’t lie to his brother.

“Yeah, she was…” Sam’s eyes filled out with tears and he began to breath heavily again. “No Sam, don’t start that again, breathe.” Sam nodded and took a deep breath and wiped the tears from his eyes. He stood up and attempted to walk back to his bed, when Dean grabbed his arm. 

“Dean, let me go.” 

“No Sammy, please just tell me, what the hell is scaring you?”

“Let me go!” Sam screamed and he elbowed Dean in the stomach hard, Sam wasn’t exactly a beanpole anymore, and he was getting hard to control. Caleb jumped off the bed, and pulled Sam off of Dean, trying to keep Sam from hurting anyone, including himself. 

“Calm down kid, its okay.” Sam was fighting Caleb and Dean’s hold, but eventually calmed down and started crying again, Caleb and Dean looked at each other with the same concern written all over their faces. Sam was the youngest and he wore his heart on his sleeve, but he didn’t cry, hadn’t in years and here they stood holding a sobbing six foot tall Sam Winchester. 

“Sammy? What’s going on?” Dean asked pushing his bangs out of his little brothers face. Sam shook in Dean’s hold.

“She was wearing white, and she was on the ceiling… Dad came in, and leaned over my crib and her blood dripped onto us, and he screamed… He told you to go, told you to go outside as fast as you could… and you ran outside with me…” Dean’s eyes got wide, and Caleb stared at Sam, he had heard the story before, but Sam had never heard the whole story before, they wanted to protect him from that. He knew his mom was killed by something Supernatural that was all he had to know. 

“Sammy, how do you know all that?” 

“I dreamt it…” Sam said. “Why would I dream that?” Dean put his brothers head under his chin, and looked at Caleb who was sitting beside them in silence. 

“I don’t know Sammy… but you are going to be okay."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Sam fell asleep in Dean’s bed that night, and in any other situation Caleb would have tortured them both mercilessly for acting like girls, but this was different. Any situations that involved their mom’s or what had killed them were different, because it ate at their souls. Sam was quiet and spacy the next morning and was scribbling on a pad of paper that was sitting on the table. Dean was watching his younger brother closely; Sam was trying to make sense of all that had happened the night before, and all Caleb could think about was Dean as a kid, when he wouldn’t talk to anyone, and he lived in a world of silence. 

“I’m gonna go find something to eat for lunch, you gonna be okay Sammy?” Sam nodded but avoided eye contact. “Okay, Caleb watch my brother okay?” 

“Sure.” Caleb said. Dean went out the front door and Sam seemed to deflate, and he stopped scribbling on the paper. “You okay Sammy?” Sam looked up at Caleb, but he still look spaced out. 

“I have a headache.” Sam whispered. 

“Do you want some Tylenol or something?” Sam shook his head. 

“No, but I need you to tell me the truth about something.” Caleb sat down across the table from Sam. 

“What do you need to know kid?” Sam flipped the paper around towards Caleb, it was a drawing of a beach house that Caleb recognized, it was the house where his parents died, where a yellow eyed demon killed his family, the same demon who’s blood ran through Caleb’s veins. 

“This is where your parents died right? In this house?” 

“Yes.” 

“It was a demon, with yellow eyes.” 

“Sam, why do you know all of this?” 

“Caleb, does the Brotherhood know that our parents were killed by the same thing?” Caleb looked at the teenager in front of him, and he didn’t have the heart to lie to the kid when he was obviously struggling. 

“They have been looking into that yes, they believe it is a strong possibility…” 

“So all of this, The Brotherhood, me, you and Dean, this is all starting to feel like some stupid master plan of a demon…” 

“Sam-“

“No, I know, the blood in your veins, what it is… and on one side I have to believe that you’re just Caleb, and you aren’t evil because that’s what I have always been told, but then there is this other side of me that is struggling with the fact that the blood in your veins is the same as the evil son of a bitch who killed my mother and destroyed my family.” 

“Sammy please, I understand how hard this is for you, but don’t hate me, you’re my family I can’t live with that.” Sam smiled at Caleb.

“I don’t hate you for it Caleb, if anything it’s made me realize why I feel so…” Caleb frowned and watched Sam.

“So what Sam?” 

“So unclean…” 

“Why would you feel unclean?” 

“I don’t know what he did to me in that room Caleb, but he did something, cause that dream felt so real, and I remember feeling different after, and I never realized that I felt different then I should. Like maybe I’m not entirely human…” 

“Sam stop.” 

“Why? My mom died in my room over my crib, there was a demon in my room, you must have thought at least once that he was there for me.” It was true, the Brotherhood had thought about that, and they knew what Sam didn’t, that his undeveloped psychic abilities might have drawn the demon to him. Caleb moved and crouched down in front of Sam.

“Okay Sammy, I need you to listen to me okay? I don’t know what happened that night, none of us know for sure what happened, but no matter what none of it was your fault. We all were affected by something distinctly evil, and it marked all of us in someway, and it is possible that the demon did something to you I don’t know, but what I do know is you are not unclean. I am the last of a bloodline of demon tainted humans, I know what it feels like to think its your fault that something evil happened, but you cannot let this beat you. Your mom died to protect you, she is your blood, believe in that, not in something that may or may not be true. It only matters what you choose to be.” 

“Okay Caleb, okay.” Sam and Caleb sat in silence for a minute before Caleb spoke again.

“And Sam, one more thing?” 

“What’s that?”

“Any chance you can stop being an ass to your brother? He is doing the best he can.” Sam laughed.

“I know he is, and I owe him an apology. Are these dreams going to go away?”

“Honestly, I don’t know, we will just have to wait and see.”


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: 

When Dean walked back into the hotel Caleb was crouched down in front of Sam. It was weird, touchy feely wasn’t Caleb’s style, and he appeared to be attempting to comfort Sam, and for some reason that   
put him on edge. 

“Everything okay?” Dean asked, putting the food down on the table. Caleb looked up and then back at Sam before clearing his throat and standing up. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine Deuce.” Caleb answered. Dean didn’t believe him but nodded his head anyway; he figured Sam would tell him later when they were alone. 

“Alright, well let’s eat, I’m starving.” 

“You are always starving kid.” 

“I’m not hungry.” Sam whispered.

“I didn’t ask Sammy, you gotta eat.” Sam squinted up at Dean, which made Dean frown. “Do you have a headache?” Sam turned his chair back towards the table and grabbed a burger out of the bag.

“M’fine Dean.” Dean rolled his eyes and walked over to the first aid kit and grabbed a couple of Tylenol, Sam may be a tough kid, but if he had a headache he was going to take something for it if Dean had to shove it down his throat. 

“Here take these.” 

“I said I was fine Dean.” Dean just put the pills in Sam’s palm and handed him a can of soda. 

“Just take your medicine like a good little boy Sammy.” Sam sighed but did as he was told, Caleb rolled his eyes he had offered Sam some Tylenol, but if he had of tried to told Sam to take them, Sam probably would have just told him to go to hell, but Dean always had a way of getting Sam to do exactly what he wanted, it was a big brother thing. 

“Hey Dean?” Sam said quietly.

“What’s up kid?” Dean said around a mouthful of french fries. 

“I’m sorry…” Dean swallowed and looked at his little brother he was staring down at his hands.

“For what?” 

“For being such a jackass to you lately. It isn’t your fault I’m pissed off and I shouldn’t be taking it out on you.” Dean looked at Caleb who just shrugged. 

“It’s fine Sammy, I probably could have handled better.” Sam smirked. 

“Thanks Dean.”

“So I don’t suppose you are going to pass on any of these apologies to Dad are you?” Sam quirked   
an eyebrow at his brother and Caleb was looking at Dean like he had gone off the deep end. Sam and John were exactly alike, and until they both admitted that, they were never going to get along. 

“Don’t push it Dean, he is still a jackass.” Caleb laughed and Dean stared at him hard.

“C’mon Deuce, he has a point Johnny can be a jackass.” Dean’s face softened and that he let out a   
low laugh.

“Alright fine, he can be a jackass… but you still have to respect him.” Sam looked genuinely confused when Dean said that, and Dean had no idea why, Dean hadn’t seen Sam respect their Dad in a long time, while all Sam was thinking, was he always respected his Dad, he just wished his Dad appreciated who he was, and stopped trying to turn him into a perfect soldier. 

“I do respect him.” Sam said and then he looked away and kept eating his food, and the three sat in relative silence for a while, until Sam pushed his food away, he hadn’t eaten much. 

“Dude, you have to eat more then that, especially if you insist on continuing to grow like a freak of nature on steroids.” 

“I told you I wasn’t hungry…” Sam said, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. Sam stood up and walked towards the bathroom. Dean stood up and stayed a couple steps behind Sam. 

“Sammy? Are you alright?” Dean put his hand on Sam’s shoulder and Sam whimpered. “What’s   
wrong?” 

“My head hurts…. Really bad…” Sam whispered. Caleb frowned and focused on Sam, and he felt his erratic emotions and the pain he was in. 

“He had a migraine Deuce.” Caleb reached over and hit the light switch and closed the blinds so the room was dark. 

“He doesn’t get migraines…”

“Well he is having one right now, trust me I have had my fair share and they are not any fun.” Sam groaned and pulled away from Dean. 

“Sick…” Dean pushed Sam into the bathroom just in time for his lunch to make a second appearance in the toilet bowl. After that it was just a lot of dry heaving, because Sam had nothing left in his stomach to throw up and each heave made his head hurt worse. After a while he stopped, and attempted to relax into the feeling of Dean’s hands on his back, trying to provide some comfort. 

“You done Sammy?” Dean whispered attempting not to add to the pain he knew Sam must be in. Sam was sweating and he had his eyes pinched shut tight. 

“Yeah, I’m done.” Dean reached over to flush away the evidence of the last few minutes and hauled Sam up off the floor and pulled him back into the other room. 

“You should get him to lay down for awhile.” Caleb said from the doorway. Dean looked at Sam who still refused to open his eyes and nodded. 

“C’mon bedtime for Sammy.” 

“M’not a baby.” Sam whined. Dean laughed. 

“Sure you aren’t kid.” Sam frowned. 

“If I’m a baby that makes you and Caleb my gay Dads, so watch what you say De.” Caleb laughed. 

“Don’t worry Sam, he can’t afford me.” 

“Mmmmm” Was Sam’s only reply, and eventually his eyes unclenched and he drifted off to sleep. Dean and Caleb walked back to the table to spend their day sitting in silence. 

“You don’t have to stay.” Dean said. 

“I told you I was gonna stick around for awhile, I am not gonna change my plans now.”

“Yeah, but when you said that you didn’t know this was what we were going to be doing.” Caleb laughed.

“I came to help you deal with a bitchy Sam, I wasn’t exactly looking for party.” Dean smirked and watched Sam. “He is going to be okay Deuce.” Dean sighed. 

“Is there anything I can give him to make this better or easier for him?” 

“Unfortunately, you just gotta kind of let it run its course, migraines are a bitch that way, and you just gotta let Sam handle this.”

“I’m not so good at standing at the sidelines Damien, it has never been one of my strongest areas.” Caleb smirked. 

“Yeah well, sometime there is nothing you can do kid, and it sucks but that is the way it is.” 

“Yeah I guess, doesn’t mean I have to like it… poker?” 

“Sure, I could use the money.”

“Dude, you definitely don’t need the money.” 

“Okay, I don’t need the money, but I will play anything that I can whip your ass at.” They played poker for a few hours while Sam slept, every once in awhile he would toss and turn but he seemed to nod back off, so Dean and Caleb left him alone. They were trying to let him sleep for as long as possible, so he wouldn’t have to deal with the pain he would definitely be in if he woke up. But then around three o’clock Sam began to whimper. Dean put his cards down and walked over to his brother’s bedside. 

“Sammy? Wake up okay?” 

“No… stop…” Sam whined in his sleep. 

“Sam, c’mon man.” 

“No stop… Get it out of me!” Sam began to scratch harshly at his arms, and the skin started to tear, so Dean grabbed him by the wrists and held him down as he screamed. 

“Sam! Wake up!” Caleb yelled. He put his hand to Sam’s forehead in an attempt to pull him out of   
the dream, but he flinched as he saw a man in Sam’s dream. A man with bright yellow eyes and he drew back, he knew those eyes, they were part of his own nightmares, and a part of his own dark past that he never let see the light of day.

“Get it out! I’m not clean… I’m not evil, I’m not evil…” Sam whimpered and had tears running down his face. Dean held onto his little brother a little harder. 

“Sam wake up now!” Dean ordered in his best John Winchester tone he could muster. Sam’s eyes popped open and he stared at Dean for a minute, before giving him a look of confusion and wincing against his brother’s hard hold. 

“Dean, you’re hurting me.” Dean laughed sadly and let Sam go. Sam looked down at his arms; they were scratched and bleeding slightly. “What happened?” Caleb had backed up and was standing on the other side of the room watching the brothers, but he had a pained look on his face. 

“You were having a nightmare…” 

“I was?” 

“You don’t remember?” 

“No… I don’t…” Dean wanted to tell Sam what he had said, but he didn’t want Sam over thinking it. Of course Sam wasn’t evil, but what did he mean by get it out?

“How’s your head?” 

“My headaches gone…” 

“Good, why don’t you go get yourself cleaned up?” Sam looked at the scratches on his arms, and nodded his head in a daze. 

“Yeah, okay. “ Sam went into the bathroom, and Dean walked over to Caleb who seemed a little spaced out.

“You alright Damien?” Caleb snapped to attention and put that typical shit eating grin on his face.

“Yeah Deuce, I’m good. I just gotta go make a phone call okay?” 

“Who do you have to call?”

“I gotta make sure my business associates didn’t burn down Tri Corp when I was gone.”

“Yeah, Okay.” Caleb walked out the door of the motel room and around the corner so Sam and Dean wouldn’t hear the conversation he was about to have. The phone rang and rang until the machine picked up. 

You’ve reached John Winchester, if this is an emergency leave a message, if it isn’t you obviously shouldn’t have this number. 

“Hey John its Caleb, I know you are on a hunt right now, but I need you to call me back as soon as you get this message…” Caleb faltered, thinking about how to get across to John that they needed to talk right now. “It’s about 11.2.83, and you really need to know what’s going on. Please call me back.” 

Caleb hung up the phone and leaned back against the wall, trying to keep his past from shoving its way into his thoughts, but all he could think about were his parents, death, and yellow eyes, and what it could mean for Sam Winchester.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Caleb sat outside the motel for a minute trying to reign his own emotions back in, he was giving himself a headache, and just before he went back inside his phone began to ring, when he saw the name he scoffed. 

“I believe this is the fastest you have ever called me back John.” Caleb said he could rarely get John on the phone, even in an emergency with one of his sons. 

“I didn’t call to get attitude from you kid, what do you know?” Caleb licked his lips and took a breath.

“It’s Sam John, he is having nightmares, about a man with yellow eyes, and he is waking up screaming. Not to mention he drew a picture of my old house and began asking questions about my   
lineage.” John sighed. 

“Take them to the farm Caleb.” Caleb’s eyes narrowed something was off, John was being way to calm about this. 

“Why aren’t you more freaked out? Do you know something I don’t?” 

“Of course not, but if this is the demon, then the safest place for all of you is at the farm.” Caleb felt the anger building up inside of him, Dean may have been his best friend, but he was supposed to take care of both the Winchester boys, and Sam was his family, even if he had been a brat the last couple of years. 

“Don’t you dare lie to me John, I’m not some kid you can boss around anymore, now tell me what the hell is going on?” 

“It’s not your business Caleb, it is Triad business, now get your ass inside that motel room, grab my sons and go to the farm right now, I will meet you there when I can. That’s an order!” Caleb was cut off as the man on the other end hung up on him. Caleb grumbled, not wanting to go anywhere near John Winchester at the moment, but knowing that if any of this was truly connected to the monster that had destroyed their families, the farm really was the best place for them to be. Caleb walked back into the room and saw Dean sitting on the bed.

“Where’s Sam?” Caleb asked. 

“Bathroom.” Dean answered. Caleb nodded and threw Dean’s duffle up onto the bed. 

“Pack up.” Sam exited the bathroom and frowned. 

“Where are we going?” Sam asked. 

“We have been ordered back to the farm, so we got get going now.” Dean began to pack, and both men watched Sam carefully, waiting for the attitude to start, but after a minute Sam just pulled out his own duffel and packed his few belongings that were scattered around the room and zipped it up. 

“I’ll go check out.” Sam said, grabbing the room keys. Dean watched him walk all the way to the door before he continued to pack up. 

“Is he okay?” Caleb asked.

“Why do you ask that?” 

“Cause we just got him to leave without argument.” Dean smirked. 

“Yeah he’s fine, a little scratched up but he’ll be fine. You ready to go?” 

“Yeah, I’ll follow you.” Dean nodded, and walked out the door. Caleb sighed and turned towards the door but stopped at the table picking up the drawing Sam had drawn earlier. He hadn’t seen that house in twenty years, but it was forever etched into his memory, and he still had the same nightmares about it that he had always had. He folded the drawing up and put it in his pocket, and walked out the door. 

It was a long drive to Kentucky, and except for a few pit stops for bathroom and food breaks, Caleb followed behind Dean deep in his own thoughts. Caleb could sense Sam’s unease, he was definitely hiding something from them, and he wasn’t as okay as he was trying to act. Caleb sighed, he was scared for Sam, but he wasn’t stupid either. He had always known that there had to be some reason for Yellow Eyes to visit the Winchesters that night, and it couldn’t have been just to kill Mary Winchester, but he had always pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, attempting to reassure himself that Sam and Dean would not be cursed to the same fate as him, that somehow they would be able to escape this legacy that haunted him for so many years. 

Caleb was pulled from his thoughts when he pulled up the driveway to the familiar farm that was home to him and the Winchesters, John’s black truck was already in the driveway besides what he assumed was Mackland’s rental car. Caleb grabbed his duffle out his back seat and followed Sam and Dean into the house, John Mac and Jim were standing in the kitchen. 

“Welcome home boys.” Jim greeted tousling Sam’s hair; Jim was the only one who could still get away with that these days. 

“Thanks Jim.” Sam said with a smiled. 

“Boys, take you stuff upstairs and get settled, we are gonna be using the farm has our home base for the next little while. We need to talk to Caleb.” 

“Yes sir.” Dean replied, Sam said nothing just went up the stairs behind his brother. John watched them go and then turned to Caleb. 

“Guess the attitude adjustment didn’t work…” John said. 

“Actually he apologized to Deuce, you on the other hand he called a jackass.” John snorted. 

“Sounds about right.” 

“Onto the matter at gentlemen, what happened?” Jim asked. Caleb shrugged. 

“He had a nightmare, and when he woke up he asked if his mom was wearing a white nightgown the night she died.” John tensed, but Caleb continued. “Then he went on to talk about how John came into the room and leaned over his crib, and then he felt blood dripping on him.” 

“Did Dean tell him any of this?”

“Come on John, you know him better then that, he didn’t want Sam to be plagued with the Sam nightmares you and him are, he wouldn’t have told him.” John nodded, he knew that, Dean had wanted Sam to have as normal of an upbringing as possible. 

“What else?” 

“He described how he felt different… and he asked me what the monster could have done to him to make him feel that way, and he started asking questions about how I was connected to the man with Yellow Eyes, and he drew this.” Caleb put the picture on the table and Mackland stared at it, and looked back at his son with pity.

“This is the house your parents died in.” 

“Yeah, and now Sam knows there is a connection between my parents and his moms death, he isn’t handling it well.” 

“I’m so sorry Caleb.” Mac said.

“I’m a grown man Dad, its fine.” It wasn’t fine, but through all the years Caleb had spent with this family, he still never liked when people were concerned about him. “He had one more nightmare last night…” 

“Okay, what was it about?” 

“He started screaming and scratching at his arms, and before he woke up he said something along the lines of ‘get it out of me, I’m not evil.’ He didn’t seem to remember it when he woke up.” John looked at Jim, and Caleb could tell there was some kind of silent communication going on. “What do you guys know, that I don’t?” 

“Caleb, I’m not sure that you need to be involved in this.” Jim said softly, and this was one of the few moments in his life where he directed his anger at the Pastor.

“I became involved the second you brought those boys into my life, you all made it my job to protect them! How can I do that if I don’t know the whole story?” Jim sighed and looked at John and Mackland.

“He needs to know John, and I will tell him if I have to, but it should come from you.” Jim was one of the few people who could break through John’s carefully placed defenses, and John knew that his place as Knight held nothing here at the moment, the Guardian had given an order, that he had no choice but to obey. 

“We don’t know the whole story Caleb, but I will tell you what I know, with the strict understanding that you do not share anything I tell you with either of the boys, they will know when the time is right.” 

“Yes sir.” 

“We do believe that the demon was there for Sam that night, and Mary was killed because she walked in on what he was doing.” 

“And what was he doing? If he wanted Sam why didn’t he just take him?” 

“We don’t know for sure what he did, what we do know is that Yellow Eyes is going to want something from Sam someday, that is the only reason he would leave him with us.” 

“But Sam wouldn’t do that, he doesn’t trust monsters, it is in blood.” Caleb thought about that for a second, and seemed lost in thought. 

“We do not think that Samuel will turn on Caleb, just that Yellow Eyes might expect him to.” Caleb stared at his father. “What is it Caleb?” 

“That’s it isn’t it… the blood.”

“What are you talking about Caleb?” John asked. 

“Yellow eyes, his blood it runs through my veins…”

“That has never been proven son.” Mackland said. It was a theory, but one that the Triad had never proven, not that they had tried very hard. 

“Dad, I swear sometimes I can feel it pulsing through my veins, some distinct part of me that I know should not be there, Sam told me that he didn’t feel clean in that nightmare, that suddenly once the demon was gone he felt different, I think that’s why, I think Yellow eyes gave him some of his blood.” 

“That can’t be possible…” John whispered.

“John-“ Pastor Jim said.

“No! My son is not tainted!” Caleb flinched, if John that Sam was tainted, God knows what he thought about Caleb, and even know well into his adult hood it hurt to know that his mentor might think something terrible about him. 

“We aren’t saying that, of course he isn’t tainted, but we have to admit it could be possible.” John sighed.

“What does this mean for him?” 

“Nothing, absolutely nothing has changed, he is out family just like Caleb, and this will change nothing.” 

“It does change one thing.” Caleb said. “My psychic abilities may come from my Grandmother, but there is a good chance that the demon blood is what makes me so much more powerful then other psychics, knowing what we know now, you shouldn’t keep his abilities on the back burner anymore, he needs to know.” John watched Caleb with anger. 

“Go upstairs Caleb, we need to talk privately.” 

“Yes sir.” Caleb went upstairs, and knocked on the door of the bedroom Sam and Dean shared, and when no one answered he walked in. Sam was sitting on the floor in front of an old toy castle and was holding up an Emerald Green dragon, they had called him Athewm. 

“Where’s your brother?” 

“Taking a shower.” Caleb crouched down beside Sam and looked at the castle that had sat on the shelf for a long time. 

“Aren’t you getting a little old to be playing with toys Runt?” Sam smirked. 

“I’m not playing with them, I’m reminiscing.” 

“About what?” 

“About how easy it was to believe in magical dragons that guarded Merlin’s castle.” Caleb looked at Sam, who was no longer a kid, and whom he could see was struggling to understand his place in this world. Dean was his best friend, but he could see himself in the confusion that Sam hid under anger and insubordination. There was a time when Sam didn’t know that each of the dragons represented his family, but that Sam was long gone, he knew too much now. 

“There is nothing wrong with still believing in the dragons Sammy, I still believe in them.” Sam still held that green dragons in his hand, the one that had represented Dean, Sam’s protector. 

“You are different then me Caleb, you weren’t lied to by the people who were supposed to protect   
you.” 

“You’re wrong kid, I was lied to plenty, but it was to keep us safe, and now we know what we are up against.” Sam eyed him suspiciously. 

“Do we? You think I don’t know there is something wrong with me? I can see it when Dad looks at me. They are all still lying to me, maybe you are too.” Caleb shifted uncomfortably. 

“Okay, well then can I tell you truth?” 

“That would nice.” 

“I have never lied to you, I have kept things from you at times when I thought I needed to, I still keep things from you and Deuce, because I don’t think you need to know certain things, but I won’t ever lie to you.” Sam put the green dragon down and picked up the red dragon. 

“So I can ask you anything Belac?” 

“Yes, I just don’t know if I can answer it, but you can always try and ask.” Sam leaned back and watched the older man.

“Do you know what killed our parents?” 

“I know it was a demon, the rest I’m not so sure about, the Triad might know more, but I’m not sure.” 

“Is there something wrong with me?” Caleb swallowed.

“Nothing more then the rest of us.” 

“You are being cryptic…”

“I am giving the best answers I can kiddo.” Sam nodded. 

“Can you guys beat it?” 

“The Brotherhood can beat anything.” 

“Can you keep my brother safe?” Caleb smiled. 

“I will always do my best to keep you guys safe.” 

“Okay.” Sam said.

“Okay? That’s it?” 

“Yeah, I guess anything else I will know eventually… hey Caleb?”

“Yeah Runt?” Sam faltered for a second before he spoke. 

“I still believe in the dragons, and I still believe that they will do anything to keep Prince Samuel safe, I just don’t believe in my place with them anymore.” Caleb frowned, feeling the emotion pouring off the boy. 

“You will always have a place with your family Sammy, no matter what happens.” Sam smiled. 

“Thanks Caleb.” 

“Anytime kiddo.” Dean sauntered back in at this point, clad in jeans and no shirt, instantly comfortable the second he got to the farm, and smirked when he saw his little brother and his best friend sitting on the floor. 

“Aren’t you guys a little old for the dragons?” 

“Come on Athewm, you are never too old to believe in the dragons, not when we are at Merlin’s castle.”


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: 

“John, we can’t keep them in the dark anymore.” Jim said. “If Samuel is starting to remember things that may have happened with this demon, we need to find out what he knows.” 

“They do not need to know about this Jim.” 

“John we can’t keep them in the dark about this, these boys need to be prepared for what’s coming.” Mackland said. 

“They are my children! It is my job to protect them.” John said. 

“You think I don’t want to protect Caleb from this? I am a father too John, and I wish with everything I have that I could leave my boy out of this, but that isn’t up to us anymore. They are not children anymore; they are members of the Brotherhood and lets face it, you can’t protect them forever, they will figure it out eventually and if the truth doesn’t come from you, they are never going to forgive you. Sam is already pulling away from all of us, and it is only a matter of time before you can’t pull him back. Me and Caleb can help him learn how to use his abilities when they develop, he will be well taken care of.” 

“I’ve told you before Mac, I don’t want Sam using his abilities.” 

“Why not? Are you that afraid of him?” 

“Have you seen him lately? All that anger building inside of him, you aren’t even a little concerned that might be leading to something terrible?” Mackland sighed and shook his head.

“You’re an idiot John.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Samuel isn’t special because of what that demon may have done to him, he is special because we have all worked so hard to protect him. He was raised in a safety that Caleb and Dean never got to experience, and if Caleb can rein in the darkness in him, even after all the evil that he saw, Sam can control it too. You need to learn to have a little faith in your son.” Mac walked out of the room and out onto the front porch leaving John standing with Jim who was watching him attentively. 

“What am I supposed to do here Jim?” 

“I’m afraid I can’t answer that for you John, but can I give you some advice?” John’s eyes narrowed. 

“Is this advice or is this going to be an order from the Guardian.” Jim laughed. 

“For now it’s just some advice from one friend to another, it isn’t the time for Guardian   
interference.” 

“Okay, tell me.” 

“We have all tried our hardest to keep Sam safe, and we sheltered him for a long time from the things that happened in this world, but do not kid yourself John, that boy is not an innocent or a civilian, and he definitely isn’t stupid. If you choose not to tell him the truth now, don’t be surprised when his inner demons start getting the best of him. Whatever happened in that nursery has always made Sam feel different, and now he can pinpoint the exact moment when he felt that change, he his beyond sheltering John, so you have two choices, tell him now what we know, or keep it from him, and do not be surprised if he keeps pulling away from you.” John sighed. 

“No matter what I do, I am never gonna get my little boy back, too much water under the bridge.”

“You’re right, you aren’t going to get your little boy back, but I can guarantee that boy grows up to be an amazing man.” 

“So you don’t believe that this… darkness in him, is going to change him.” 

“We all have darkness inside of us, and sometimes it wins, but as long as he has something to pull him back over into light, he’ll be fine.” 

“What does he have that’ll keep him in the light?” 

“Samuel has fierce loyalty to his family, and even though we have spent years protecting him, I believe he has an even stronger pull to protect his family then we ever did.” 

“Okay I get it, I don’t think I can handle anymore Guardian answers.” 

“Alright, then do what you want to do, just be prepared for the consequences.” Jim left and John sat in silence for a few minutes before heading up the stairs towards the familiar bedroom his boys had shared for the past 16 years, he could hear Caleb Dean and Sam talking and John heard Sam laugh, a sound that was becoming less and less frequent, or maybe it wasn’t maybe it only when he was around John. John knocked on the door and the laughter ceased, and Dean told him to come in. The three were sitting on the floor of the bedroom and John sat on the edge of the bed. 

“Do you need something sir?” Dean asked. 

“I just want to find out what happened when I was gone, Sam care to explain?” Sam was staring hard at a spot in the floor, and didn’t plan on answering his Dad, but Dean nudged him with his elbow making Sam stare hard at his brother, some silent communication passing between the brothers before Sam looked up at John. 

“I was having nightmares, and they freaked me out.” 

“Nightmares about your Mom?” Sam tensed; they didn’t talk about their Mom, especially with John. 

“Yeah… and a monster with yellow eyes…” John nodded.

“You know it wasn’t real right?” Caleb’s head snapped up and he stared at John with heat, John stared back equally hard willing the younger man to keep his mouth shut. Sam seemed to deflate, trying to rein in his emotions, it had felt so real, but his father said it wasn’t and he was confused. 

“Yes sir, it was just a nightmare.” Sam stood and went to walk by John and John grabbed him by   
the arm.

“I highly suggest you rein in your wild imagination Sam, we have enough to deal with without having to worry about your childish dreams.” Something in Sam snapped, and he did something he had never done before, he reached out and punched John hard in the jaw. 

“Go to hell.” Sam yelled before running out of the room before John could recover from the shock, and Dean quickly ran after his brother, because even though he knew Sam shouldn’t have hit his father, his instinct to protect Sam was stronger. John sat up and wiped the blood from his lip, his son could pack a hell of a punch when he wanted to. 

“Guess he gets his temper from his father…” Caleb said. 

“Actually, Mary was terrifying when she got angry, I was less scared of most of my superiors when I was in Vietnam…” 

“Really? I guess I always thought Sam got that awkward sensitive side from her, cause that definitely couldn’t have come from you. You know that was a dick move right?” 

“I don’t recall asking for your opinion Caleb.” Caleb laughed.

“You never do, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to stand up to you when you make a stupid mistake. How dare you make that kid feel like he imagined all that? You have to know deep down that he knows better then that.”

“It’s for his own good Caleb.” 

“Bullshit John, you just don’t want to talk to him about what happened. Not knowing what I was, and why I was seeing such terrible things nearly destroyed me, you are going to lose your son.” 

“Sam’s not going anywhere, he is just being a teenager…”

“You know that’s not true, all that anger in him is either gonna get him killed or drive him away, and you are the only one who can fix that.” Caleb left the room in search of Sam and Dean, and John sat on the bed, contemplating his child’s future.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: 

Dean found Sam in the loft of the barn looking out of the large window, Sam heard footsteps behind him but he knew it would be his brother so he didn’t bother turning around. 

“He is going to kick your ass for that Sammy.” Dean said, sitting down beside his brother. 

“I don’t care, it was worth it… I’m not a liar, I hate when people call me a liar.” Dean sighed, he hated being caught in the middle with his father and Sam, but in this case he knew Sam wasn’t lying, Sam didn’t even want his Dad to know what had happened. 

“He didn’t mean to call you a liar Sammy…” 

“Don’t fucking defend him Dean, he told me to rein in my wild imagination, he doesn’t believe me!” Caleb stopped on the stairs to the loft and listened to the two brothers conversing, understanding Sam’s anger. 

“Believe it or not, I’m not defending him… I believe you Sammy…” Sam looked up with that wide eyed look that made him look all of four years old. 

“You do? Even though I was a baby and I shouldn’t remember it?” Dean smiled sadly. 

“Sammy… we grew up in a world of the unexplained, you remembering that isn’t really all that far fetched… and to tell you the truth, I remember that night clear as day, and I remember everything that you described… I don’t believe this is a coincidence.” 

“I’m sorry that you have to remember that Dean…” Sam said quietly, for the first time Sam realized how bad Dean must have been hurting from those memories.

“So am I, but I am even more sorry that you remember now…” 

“It isn’t like it clear… but I remember feeling different after… like something in me had changed… Dean is this my fault?” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I don’t know… just something in my gut is telling me there is more to this… what if the demon came for me? What if mom died because of me? What if this is why Dad hates me?” 

“Sammy stop.” Dean grabbed his brother by the wrists. “Look at me.” Sam looked up through his hair at his brother. “Even if that demon came for you, even if mom died protecting you, none of this is your fault… and Dad doesn’t hate you, he is just angry at the world. None of this is your fault okay?” 

“Okay…” 

“Sammy, I don’t have any answers right now for what happened that night, or why, but can I tell you one thing?” 

“What?” Dean swallowed and looked out the window at the pond. 

“Mom loved us more then anything in this world, and she would have done anything for us, so I know that if that demon came for you, Mom wasn’t about to let him hurt you, so wherever she is, I know she is thinking she died for something because she died for you.” Caleb swallowed back some emotion, he knew how hard it was for Dean to talk about his mom, he had the same problem. 

“Thanks Dean.” Sam said smiling softly.

“Anytime little brother, now lets go ice your hand.” Sam winced as he opened and closed his fist. 

“No need, I brought the first aid to you.” Caleb said emerging from his hiding place, he made his way up the stairs and sat down beside Sam and Dean passing the ice pack to Sam. 

“Thanks.” Sam said. 

“You’re welcome, you know Runt you are lucky you didn’t break your hand, Winchesters are notorious for being hard headed.” Sam smirked. 

“Is that your way of telling me my Dad has a hard head, or your way of saying I shouldn’t have punched him?” Caleb laughed. 

“A little bit of both, you are gonna be running extra drills for the rest of the summer.” 

“Totally worth it.” Caleb laughed. 

“No doubt.” Dean smirked. 

“He’ll only be running extra drills if Dad is here, I have a feeling we can get Jim on our side.” Dean said. 

“You aren’t gonna make him run maneuvers if John isn’t here? C’mon Deuce, you can’t say no to Sergeant Winchester’s orders.”

“I won’t say no, I just… won’t follow through.” Caleb elbowed Sam in the side. 

“Look at that Sammy, we finally turned your brother into a rebel.” 

“Shut up Damien…” 

John was in his bedroom, looking over notes he had collected over the past 16 years. He knew   
that a demon came to his house that night, a very powerful demon with yellow eyes, he had never seen a demon with yellow eyes before, and he knew what the demon had done to Sam, now there was no denying the truth, Sam was tainted by something evil, but he had to believe there was enough good in his son, enough of Mary to keep him from his destiny. Sam was not going to be a psychic freak, he was never going to work on the side of the demons. 

“I will find you, you son of a bitch…” John whispered to nobody. “And when I do, I am going to rip your fucking head off… you can’t have my son, you will never have my son, there is too much good in him… and I love him too much to let him go without a fight…”


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: 

“You’re mine Sam…. It’s in your blood…. You’re not clean….”

Sam jolted awake, breathing heavily and pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes trying to rid himself of a headache.

“I’m not clean…” Sam whispered to himself. 

“Sammy? You okay?” Dean asked groggily. 

“Yeah, go back to sleep Dean.” Dean huffed and rolled over to face the wall, falling back to sleep instantly. Sam climbed out of bed and walked towards the bathroom. He turned on the hot water and began to scrub at his hands. 

Caleb woke up when a feeling of panic made his way into his head. He rubbed at his eyes trying to focus on who it was, and he knew instantly it was Sam. He followed the panicked thoughts into the bathroom. Caleb paused outside the door and listened, barely hearing the panicked whispers over the running water. 

“Dirty dirty dirty…. Not clean…” 

“Sam?” Caleb asked knocking on the door. When he got no answer he pushed the door open, and saw Sam scrubbing furiously at the reddened skin on his arms and hands. 

“Need to be clean…” Sam whispered. Caleb reached out and grabbed Sam’s hands pulling them away from the water, which cause Sam to scream and pull back. 

“Sammy stop!” 

“No! I’m dirty!” Caleb wrapped his arms around the taller boy, but Sam just bucked against him.

“DEAN! Get out here!” Caleb yelled. Dean was up and out of the bedroom in thirty seconds, and stared at the scene unfolding before him. Sam was still scratching at his skin as Caleb attempted to subdue him in the tiny bathroom. 

“What the hell is going on?” 

“I don’t know, just help me out before he hurts himself.” Caleb said. Dean grabbed onto his brothers forearms and pulled them apart from each other. 

“Sammy? Can you hear me?” Sam seemed dazed, and he continued to pull against his brother’s hold. 

“I’m dirty… it’s in my blood… I’m not clean…” Sam whispered at no one. Dean stared at Caleb, and Caleb wished he knew what to say. 

“C’mon Deuce, lets get him out of the bathroom…” Dean nodded and pulled his brother forward, neither of the older men letting go of their youngest. As they left the bathroom, they saw John, Mac, and Jim standing outside of the door.

“What happened?” John asked. 

“I don’t know, he burned himself, and scratched himself all to hell, they need to be bandaged up.” Caleb said.

“I’ll grab my kit.” Mac said, walking back to his bedroom. Jim watched his boys with sad eyes, before reaching out and touching Sam’s cheek, but Sam pulled away violently from the touch. 

“Don’t touch… dirty…” Sam continued to try to pull away from Caleb and Dean, but his energy was   
waning. 

“What do you think you are dirty Samuel?” For the first time since the ordeal had began, Sam met someone’s eyes, staring directly at Pastor Jim. 

“I’m not clean…” 

“Sammy, please stop…” Dean croaked. Sam finally met Dean’s eyes, shaking his head rabidly. 

“Lemme go De, you’re clean… I don’t wanna taint you.” 

“Why does he keep saying that?” Dean asked Jim. 

“I don’t know, son.” John said. Mac came back over to the boys, and stopped in front of Sam attempting to get a look at the damage, but Sam wouldn’t stop moving. 

“Lets take him back to the bedroom, I’ll get him cleaned up in there.” Dean and Caleb got Sam to sit on the bed and stationed themselves on either side of Sam while Mac worked. Sam stayed silent through the process but made multiple attempts to pull away from Mackland’s hands. Dean kept a hand on Sam’s shoulder whispering what he hope would be comforting words. John stood in the background with Jim, watching but saying nothing to his sons. 

“Okay, that should do it for now.” Mackland said.

“What’s the damage doc?” Dean asked. 

“He has some minor burns, and he must have been scrubbing for awhile, because he split his skin in places, but as long as he doesn’t do that anymore, and we keep them covered til they heal he should be fine.” 

“Okay, thanks Mac.” 

“We’re gonna go back to bed, but let us know if you need anything okay?” Jim said. Dean nodded his head. “Caleb? Should I assume you are spending the night in here.” Caleb smirked slightly. 

“Yeah, I’ll crash on the floor.” The three older men retreated from the bedroom leaving Caleb and Dean in charge of their youngest, it was better that way, Sam always responded better to the two younger men.

“Hey Sammy? You with us?” It was silent for a minute but then Sam tilted his head up a little bit. 

“Yeah, I’m right here.” 

“How you feeling Runt?” Caleb asked softly. Sam furrowed his brow, as if deep in thought. 

“My head hurts…” Sam whispered. Dean and Caleb shared a look, Sam was being to quiet, and it was freaking them both out. 

“Why don’t you go to sleep for awhile?” Sam shook his head. 

“I don’t want to sleep…” Sam said. He pushed himself against the wall and brought his knees up to his chest, wrapping his bandaged arms around them. 

“Sammy, you have to sleep man…” Dean said reaching his hand out to move Sam’s hair out of his face, but Sam flinched violently.

“Don’t touch Dean…” Sam whispered. 

“Sam what the hell is going on with you?” Caleb asked. Sam tilted his head at the older man, questionably.

“You know Caleb.” Dean eyed his best friend suspiciously. 

“What do I know Sam?” 

“About what he did… why I’m not clean… you are just as tainted as me.” Caleb sucked in a breath and then reached out to touch Sam’s arm, and wasn’t shocked, as Sam didn’t flinch away, Sam knew he couldn’t taint Caleb when they were both already tainted by the same thing. When Caleb let go Sam started to rub his bandaged arms against his pants, which Dean reached out and stopped, once again causing Sam to flinch away. 

“Damien… what is going on with my brother?” 

“I’m not sure Deuce, I think maybe these dreams are getting to him, I am sure it will get better in the morning.” Dean watched Caleb, and Caleb squirmed under the scrutiny.

“Are you lying to me?” 

“No I’m not.” Technically he wasn’t, he just didn’t want to give Dean any information that he wasn’t one hundred percent about. Caleb shifted his attention back to Sam. “Go to sleep Sam, we’ll watch out for you.” Sam contemplated this for a minute then nodded his head, laying down on the bed pressed against the wall. 

“Do you think he will be okay?” Dean asked after a few minutes. 

“I have no doubt about it Deuce, he is a Winchester."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Dean had fallen asleep in the chair beside Sam’s bed while Caleb had crashed on Dean’s bed a few hours earlier. They had tried to stay awake but they were both exhausted. He blinked his eyes open, squinting as the light flooded through the room. Caleb was still stretched out awkwardly at the very edge of the bed, as if even in sleep he was attempting to stay as close to the Winchester’s as possible. It was typical but Dean smiled, it was nice having Caleb around, he had missed that strong presence lately. Dean was surprised to see Sam sitting up in bed, silently watching him. He wondered how long Sam had been awake, just waiting for Dean to open his eyes. 

“Hey Sammy.” Dean said quietly, moving over to the bed and sitting next to his brother. Sam smiled a little and looked at Dean. 

“Hi...” Sam whispered. 

“You feeling okay this morning?” Sam frowned.

“Uh yeah… I guess. My head hurts… what happened?” 

“What do you remember?” 

“Ummm… I woke up… and then I was washing my hands…” Sam peered at the bandages around his hands and wrists and tilted his head in thought. “And it was burning… everything is kind of fuzzy.” Dean nodded. 

“You burnt yourself pretty bad, and cut yourself up a little… what were doing kiddo?” 

“I think I was trying to get clean…” 

“Yeah you kept saying that, but I don’t know what that means.” Sam’s eyes got a little watery and he sniffled. 

“I don’t really know… I’m sorry Dean.” Dean sighed, he hated when Sam’s eyes filled with tears and looked all of five years old. 

“You don’t have to be sorry, you just freaked me out.” 

“I’m sorry that I scared you.” 

“I never said you scared me, I said you freaked me out. There’s a difference.” Sam laughed softly, and Dean threw his arm loosely around Sam’s shoulder.

“Whatever you say Dean.” Caleb groaned from across the room.

“God, why does it sound like you two have grown boobs over there?” Dean laughed and stood up from the bed. 

“Shut up Damien.” Caleb smiled and looked at Sam.

“How are you doing kid?” 

“M’okay…” Caleb nodded, he knew Sam wasn’t okay; in fact he was quite afraid that the youngest Winchester was teetering on the age of sanity, but he wasn’t about to say that. Caleb stretched and made his way over to the other bed and sat down in the chair Dean had recently vacated. 

“Let me see them.” Sam seemed confused as to why Caleb was doing this instead of Dean, but Caleb was trying to avoid sending Sam into another episode, subconsciously Sam thought he could taint Dean, but he couldn’t hurt Caleb, and Caleb now knew that. 

Sam reached his arms out to Caleb and he began to unwind the bandages, Sam winced as the air hit the burns, they looked worse this morning then they did the night before. 

“Jesus…” Dean whispered. Sam looked back at his brother with shame written all over his face.

“I’ve had worse Dean…” Dean knew that, Sam was a hunter and injuries came with the job, but it was very different when Sam had done the damage to himself, and he didn’t seem to remember why he had done it. 

“Yeah I know… I just don’t understand how you did that much damage… I mean your skin is actually blistering in places… how is that even possible?” Sam pulled his arms back from Caleb and stared at them for a second. The skin was red and raw, and there were some blistered burns in places from the overly hot water touching the raw flesh that had been scrubbed too hard for too long. 

“I don’t know…” Sam resisted the urge to scrub at them again; there was something wrong with   
him that much he knew. He needed to get clean, and be in control. “Can we cover these back up and go eat something? I’m kind a hungry.” 

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” Caleb replied. He rolled gauze back over Sam’s arms, and they made their way downstairs to the kitchen after Sam had pulled a sweatshirt over his head. The Triad was already sitting in the kitchen. 

“Good morning boys.” Jim greeted. The younger hunters reciprocated the greeting and sat down at the table. 

“How are you this morning Samuel?” Mackland asked. 

“I’m fine.” Sam answered without looking at the doctor. He pulled at his sleeves until they covered his hands and reached for a plate, putting toast, eggs and bacon on it. Systematically moving each piece of food so none of the different things touched on the plate. He didn’t want them mixing, for some reason his brain was telling him that the bacon couldn’t touch the eggs. 

Dean watched as Sam ate, he finished all the eggs first, then chugged some water, swishing it around in his mouth before moving on to the bacon, once again finishing it all, drinking some water before moving onto the toast. Dean glanced at his own plate, a mess of food that he shoveled into his mouth without much thought, it seemed weird to separate it, and two days ago, Sam wouldn’t have done that but Dean said nothing about it, Sam was weird. 

“Any hunts on the books?” John asked. He didn’t really want to sit around the farm, and if there was a job he could be on, he would jump on it. 

“It’s a Sunday John.” Jim answered. 

“Your point?” 

“It’s the Lord’s Day, you are supposed to rest.” John huffed. 

“Evil doesn’t take Sundays off Jim, neither should we.” 

“On the farm we do, I have masses today, and there will be no talk of work today.” Jim answered calmly. John bit his tongue, he wasn’t religious but this was Jim’s place, and for the most part what he said was law, few were dumb enough to argue with the Pastor. 

“You aren’t going to make us go to mass are you?” John asked. Jim laughed softly. 

“I only make you go on Easter and Christmas, I know better then to try to drag any of you into a church. Samuel, you are welcome to come if you would like.” Sam tensed, and pulled on his sleeves again.

“Not today Jim.” Jim tilted his head in concern. Sam was the only one of his boys who had shown any interest in the church, and he had never turned down Jim’s offer to attend. 

“Are you sure Sam?” Sam nodded. “Okay, well I will see you all tonight when I get back, have a good day. Please do up the dishes for me, I would appreciate it.” Jim left the table. 

“You heard him boys, do the dishes.” John said standing up. 

“I don’t believe he said for us to do the dishes.” Caleb said. “He just asked for them to be done.” John smirked. 

“Yeah well, I am telling you to do them Private, don’t argue with the senior hunter.” John got up and left the room, and Caleb looked to his Dad.

“Did he seriously just pull the senior hunter crap on me over the dishes? I am twenty eight years old!” Mackland laughed. 

“Yeah well he still sees you as that fourteen year old kid, so are you actually going to argue with him?” Mackland left the kitchen as well leaving the three younger hunters alone.

“You’re washing Deuce, I’m drying.” Caleb said. Dean laughed and helped Sam bring the dishes to the sink. 

“I’ll put them away after Caleb dries them.” Caleb quirked an eyebrow at Sam.

“You know, we don’t actually require a third person to do that, I can just put them in the cupboard.” Sam shook his head. 

“You will do it wrong.” 

“There is a wrong way to put the dishes away Sammy?” Dean asked. Sam looked at him strangely. 

“Yes.” 

“Okay then, you are in charge putting them away.” Dean and Caleb did the dishes and watched as Sam moved the dishes around in the cupboard, even the ones that were already in there. He moved the plates to the left, the bowls to the center, and the cups to far cupboard, spinning them so the patterns were all facing the same way. Dean and Caleb exchanged glances every once in a while but let Sam do what he wanted, Sam seemed calmer and more like himself, so they didn’t want to disrupt him. When they were done, Dean drained the water out of the sink. 

“I’m gonna go shower.” Sam announced. Dean looked at Sam apprehensively, but what was he going to do, he couldn’t ban Sam from showering. 

“Fifteen minutes okay?” Sam gave Dean a bitch face, but then looked down at his sleeves, which were covering the bandages, so he just sighed. 

“Yeah okay.” 

“And Sam?” 

“Yeah?”

“Leave the door unlocked okay?” Sam nodded and ran up the stairs. Dean watched him go, and   
stared at the stairs long after Sam was gone. 

“Hey, he’ll be back in a few minutes just chill out.” Caleb said suddenly. The water came on   
upstairs and Dean turned back towards the sink. He sighed and opened up the cupboard doors. 

“C’mon Damien, this doesn’t seem weird to you?” Dean pointed at the orderly fashion of the dishes, none of them had ever cared much about organization when it came to the simple stuff, weapons sure but that was for safety, but it was a house full of grizzly men, as far as they were concerned out of sight, out of mind. Cleanliness was the last thing on their minds. 

“Sure it does, but Sam has always been a little more organized then the rest of us, it’s probably just a quirk.” Dean looked at his friend like he had grown an extra head. 

“Really? That is really what you think? After the freak out last night about wanting to be clean, you actually believe this is just a coincidence Damien? There isn’t any such thing as coincidences, not in our world.” Caleb sighed. 

“He is going to be fine.” 

“That isn’t an answer.” 

“Maybe I don’t have an answer for this one Deuce. Sam’s a control freak, he got that from his old man, maybe this is just a way for him to have control over his life. It isn’t like he had much control over anything else. If you want a doctors opinion, talk to my Dad not me. ” 

“Yeah I guess. I’m gonna go check on him.” Caleb smirked. 

“It’s only been ten minutes.” 

“Yeah well water just shut off, and I’m impatient.” Dean left Caleb sitting in the kitchen and went up the stairs. He could here Sam moving around in the bathroom, so he knocked on the door.

“Yeah?” Sam answered. 

“Can I come in?” Dean asked. He was going to go in anyway, but he wanted to make Sam feel like it was his choice. 

“Uh… yeah, come in.” Dean pushed the door open and Sam was sitting on the edge of the tub patting his arms with a dry towel, wincing at the touch. 

“Everything okay?” 

“Yeah… but… do you know how hard it is to shower when your hands are all scalded? I got soap in the burns, and it stings.” Sam laughed awkwardly. 

“Huh… guess we didn’t think about that.” Sam smirked.   
“Can you help me bandage these?” Sam asked quietly. 

“Sure Sammy.” Dean grabbed the gauze and Polysporin from the medicine cabinet, and sat down   
on the toilet across the Sam. He applied the ointment to the worst of the injuries and wrapped the   
gauze around Sam’s hands and forearms. Sam winced and pulled away occasionally but Dean kept his arms in place until he was done. 

“Thanks.” Sam said when they were done, and he pulled the hoodie back over his head. 

“Anytime kiddo.” Dean watched Sam pull the sleeves of the hoodie back over his hands and frowned. “You know that it is hot as hell outside right?” 

“Yeah I know… I just don’t wanna look like a basketcase.” 

“You don’t have to hide from us Sammy.” Sam frowned. 

“I’m not hiding anything.” Sam said. 

“Hey, why didn’t you go to the church with Jim this morning?” Sam looked scared for a second before   
the famous Winchester mask slipped over his features. 

“I just didn’t want to be in a church.” Sam answered quietly, and turned away from his brother. He walked by Dean and out of the room, Dean sighed and put the supplies back in the cupboard. He frowned when he saw that the bottles on the side of the tub had all been arranged according to size.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story had began to take an odd turn, but I kind of wanted to explore Sam’s weird little OCD like tendencies. Let me know if you like where this story is going and if you would like me to continue.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: 

It had been two weeks, and Sam’s hands were finally healed up leaving behind nothing but a few scars that would fade with time, and he seemed to be returning to his normal self. At least that was what it would look like from anyone from the outside looking in, but Dean knew better, even Caleb could still tell that something was still wrong with the teenager. If it was just the sudden need for neatness that was all that was wrong with his brother, Dean could deal with that, he would just add it to his list of weird Sammy quirks, but it was the other thing that was beginning to worry him. 

Dean had never been the touchy feely type, and he had never noticed how much Sam and him usually touched everyday. Between caring for each other’s injuries, or sparring, or simple brotherly pats on the back, Sam and Dean were very hands on, and it definitely didn’t help that they basically lived in each other’s pockets. But lately Sam had been avoiding all of that. When he sparred, he sparred with Caleb, and he went out of his way to keep a certain distance from everyone around him. During dinners, and other times where he was forced to sit next to his family, he kept himself tense and squished attempting to keep himself from touching them, and when he would accidentally brush up against someone, he would wince like it was hurting him. 

Sam was currently upstairs in the shower and Dean was sitting in the kitchen sipping coffee, and watching the clock. Sam had been in the shower for twenty minutes, too long by Dean’s standards, especially when the Winchesters took five minute military length showers most of the time, that was about all that was possible in motels with no water pressure, and barely any hot water. Caleb walked into the kitchen and poured himself some coffee and leaned against the counter watching Dean. Dean ignored him at first, but he could only hold in his frustration for so long, and he was getting annoyed that everyone was brushing off Sam’s issues and acted like he was worrying too much. 

“Any chance you could stop staring at me Damien? It’s fucking creepy.” Caleb continued to stare at Dean intensely.

“Yeah, you are timing your brothers showers down to the millisecond, and I’m the creepy one.” Caleb said. Dean glared at his best friend. Caleb sighed and sat down across from Dean. “Look kid, I know you are freaked out, but he is doing fine, just give him some time.” Dean scoffed. 

“Seriously, you think he is fine? He won’t even let anyone but you near him. That’s messed up.” 

“Don’t be jealous Deuce, I’m not gonna take over the big brother role, that’s your job.” Dean knew that Caleb was trying to take his mind off of the problem, but Dean played along. 

“Like you could handle Sammy on his good days, never mind his broody teenager days.” 

“I dunno, I dealt with you.” 

“I was never broody.” Caleb laughed. 

“Yeah, you keep thinking that Deuce.” Jim walked in from the kitchen porch, and nodded his greeting to the two men in the kitchen. 

“Morning boys, I am afraid I have to put a wrench in your weekend plans Caleb, I have a job for   
you. ” Jim said. 

“What weekend plans Jim?” Caleb asked. “What’s the hunt?” 

“We have a skin walker problem about a hundred miles south of here, needs to be cleaned up as quickly as possible, I was going to get John to take care of it, but he took another job in Wisconsin and won’t be back until next week.”

“Alright, who’s going with me?” Jim met Dean’s eyes, and the younger man tensed. 

“Oh hell no, you are not sending him on a hunt.” Dean snapped. 

“Sam is healed up, and he is next on rotation. He isn’t just a hunter; he is part of the Brotherhood that means he has to do his job. There is nothing I can do, son.”

“You are the Guardian, take him off rotation for now, he isn’t ready.” Jim smiled sadly. 

“I cannot pull him out just because I am afraid he is going to get hurt Dean, it doesn’t work that way and you know it. If I start playing favorites this entire organization falls apart. All hunters must carry their own weight, you know that.” Dean rubbed a hand over his face, he knew he didn’t have a choice, and he had to let Sam go. 

“Fine, but I am going with them.” Dean said. Jim smiled, but he wasn’t going to argue, Dean was fiercely protective over his brother and trusted nobody fully with Sam, not even Caleb, and most definitely not their father. 

“Understood, pack up, I want you on your way out here after lunch, research is in the Tomb, get Sam to go over it on the drive.” 

“Yes sir, I’m gonna go tell him.” Dean made his way up the stairs and towards their bedroom; Sam was running a towel through his long hair. He smiled tensely as Dean walked through the door. 

“Hey.” Sam whispered. 

“You know if you grow your hair any longer, you are gonna have creepy guys hitting on you Samantha.” Sam laughed. 

“Shut up Dean.” 

“Hey Sammy, a hunt came up, you are next on rotation.” Sam sighed. 

“Awesome… who am I going with?” 

“Me and Caleb.” Sam quirked an eyebrow at his brother, who squirmed under the scrutiny, Sam wasn’t stupid he knew what Dean was doing.

“You just got back from a hunt with Josh, you aren’t on rotation.” Dean shrugged. 

“I’ll get bored hanging out here alone.” 

“Or you want to keep an eye on me.” 

“No, I just like going on hunts with you and Caleb, it is more fun, I mean Josh is a good hunter and everything, but that guys an ass.” Sam smiled and sat down on the bed, keeping a healthy distance between him and Dean, and Dean didn’t comment on it, but he didn’t like it. 

“I’m know you are worried Dean, but I’m okay, you don’t need to watch me every second of the day.” 

“It’s my job kid, has nothing to do with being worried.” Sam nodded, but Dean knew he was just trying to avoid an argument, he didn’t actually believe a word his brother was saying.

“When do we leave?” 

“After lunch, research is waiting in the tomb for my trusty geek boy sidekick to go over, and find everything Jim missed.” 

“Hey, you are the one tagging along on this trip, that makes you the sidekick.” Sam said. Dean laughed. 

“Some of us aren’t sidekick material Sammy, but every Batman needs a Robin.” 

After lunch the three hunters piled themselves into the Impala, Dean and Caleb in the front, Sam sequestered in the back with books and research, silently going over the information looking for anything that could tell them who the skin walker was. Once they figured that out, the rest was easy, just like every other type of shapeshifter it would only take a silver bullet to the heart to bring him down. 

Once they got to the motel Sam dropped his stuff on the floor and began tacking pages to the wall attempting to create some order to the bits of information he had been given. Every once in awhile he would type something into the computer on the desk, but he stayed completely silent. He was ignoring the other hunters, and was reading over each piece of information carefully, trying to find some kind of connection between the victims. Dean and Caleb stayed away, knowing it was better to let Sam handle this part of the hunt, he was a better researcher then them, and he always seemed to be able to uncover patterns in the hunts that even the most experienced hunters missed. When Dean came back with dinner, Sam stopped what he was doing and came over to the table. 

“How’s it going over there? Anything on the victim profile?” Caleb asked. 

“All male, mid thirties, brown hair, not married, no kids, and they are all hunters, animal hunters not our kind of hunters. All have records for drunk and disorderly, and assaults. Not the warm and fuzzy type.” 

“So they were all dicks. How does that help us?” Dean said. 

“They all have arrests at the same bar in town, seems a little weird considering this is a town of 36,000 people.” Dean nodded. 

“So all male loners who are bad drinkers and all like to hang out at the same bar. That’s pretty specific. How did you figure out where they were all arrested?” Caleb asked. 

“I hacked the police database.” Dean choked on his beer. 

“You can do that?” Sam shrugged. 

“Ain’t that hard.” Caleb laughed. 

“Oh yeah, every sixteen year old knows how to do that.” Caleb said. 

“Whatever, anyway I’m assuming whoever our skin walker is, is either an employee, or a regular, but only one person showed up on all the witness lists in the police reports.” Sam said, as he unfolded a napkin so he could dump his fries somewhere else besides on the wrapper with his burger. Dean frowned as he watched Sam organize his food before he could eat it. 

“Alright so tell me Sammy, who is your suspect?” 

“Katherine Rogers, twenty two years old, native of Buffalo she was admitted to the ER four years ago with an infected dog bite on the back of her thigh. She moved here fourteen months ago just before the killings began.” 

“And geekboy strikes again, way to go Sammy.” Caleb said. “So how do you want to handle this?” 

“Well she gets off work at one in the morning, and guess we’ll follow her from there, and do what we gotta do.” Sam said. 

“You know Sammy, you did all the work here, so you don’t have to come tonight if you don’t want…” Dean said. Sam glared at his brother. 

“You trying to something to me right now Dean?” Sam asked angrily. 

“No… I’m just saying-“ 

“Well don’t just say, you aren’t even supposed to be here, so stop with the bullshit, and stop trying to bench me, you aren’t Jim.” Sam stood from the table and went into the bathroom slamming the door behind him. 

“That went well.” Caleb said. 

“Shut up Damien.” 

“Look Deuce, I know what you are doing, but the kid has had a tough month, if he wants to go out and kill something, let him. Maybe it’ll blow off some steam.” Dean laughed. 

“You know how fucked up that sounds?” 

“Hey, its normal in our world.” The water turned on in the bathroom, and Caleb quirked an eyebrow. “Is he showering again?” 

“No just washing his hands… for the fiftieth time today, but you know whatever, perfectly normal.” Dean ground out. 

“Look Deuce, I know it isn’t normal okay? But if this is what he has to do to deal, is it really so bad? It could be so much worse…” 

“I know… I just… I just wish he would stop avoiding me. I kinda miss the little brat.” 

“It’ll get better kid, just give him sometime, those nightmares really freaked him out. Eventually he will figure out there is nothing wrong with him, just give him sometime.” 

“Yeah okay…” 

“So for now, lets hunt us as a shapeshifter, I’ll go get the guns, and load them with silver.” 

Stakeouts were always the boring part of the hunt. Hunters were usually adrenaline junkies, they had to be in order to run at monsters everyday, and so sitting in a car for hours waiting was torture. Eventually Sam pointed to the girl as she left the bar, and they left the car, following her down an alley and into the woods, they separated so they each be on a different side of the girl, and suddenly she stopped in the woods. 

“You know, I can smell you, not many people can sneak up on me.” She said. Once they knew they were caught, they stepped into the clearing. 

“Didn’t think we could, but we might as well try right?” Caleb said, keeping his gun pointed at the girl. 

“Hunters right?” Her eyes went to Sam and she tilted her head. “You are so young, how did you get dragged into this?” 

“Family business.” Sam answered. Katherine smiled sadly at Sam. 

“So you were forced into this? You and me aren’t so different, I didn’t choose this life either, but at least I am doing something good with it. I only kill those who deserve it.” 

“You don’t get to make that call.” Dean said. Katherine turned to him. 

“And you do? What makes me a monster, but you a hunter? I need human hearts to live, you kill us just for the sheer pleasure.” She turned back to Sam. “You should get away from these people kid, before you are just as much a monster as me.” 

Sam visibly flinched. Dean had had enough, and he fired one shot, Katherine moved at the sound of gunfire, and the bullet grazed her arm, and the silver burnt her flesh making her scream. She turned and ran into the woods, the three hunters attempting to keep up, but they lost her. 

“Damn it that bitch is fast.” Dean said. 

“Yeah well, there are some perks to being a shapeshifter, speed and strength being the obvious   
ones.” Caleb said. 

“Can you track her?” Sam asked. Dean was a good tracker, but Caleb was better, and everyone knew it. 

“Yeah I’m sure she won’t be hard to find, not like she was trying to hide her tracks, she is scared and bleeding.” The conversation stopped and Sam was knocked over by the large dog and pinned to the forest floor. 

“Jesus Christ!” Caleb yelled, he raised his gun but he couldn’t get a shot off without hurting Sam. “Dean do you have a shot?” 

“No!” Dean dropped his gun on the ground and jumped on the dogs back pulling him up off of Sam, who was holding the dog by the throat. Nobody could use the guns in this situation, so Sam pulled a silver knife out of his boot and stabbed the dog in the heart, and twisted. The dog yelped and fell next to Sam, and slowly shifted back into human form. Dean fell backwards onto the ground and Caleb ran towards the brothers, crouching down beside them. 

“Everyone okay?” 

“Yeah I’m good.” Dean said. “Sammy you okay?” Sam was facing away from the other two men, breathing heavily. Caleb crawled around to face Sam; Sam was staring at his hands, which were covered in the skin walker’s blood. 

“Sammy you okay?” Caleb asked. Sam slowly lifted his eyes to meet Caleb’s. 

“My hands are covered in blood…” Caleb frowned and looked at Dean who came around to kneel in front of Sam. 

“It’s okay Sammy, it’s just the skin walkers blood.” 

“It’s dirty.”

“It’s okay.” Sam shook his head and wiped the blood on the leaves in the grass. 

“No, it’s dirty, I need to get it off.” 

“Okay here.” Dean passed Sam a water bottle out of his pack and Sam dumped the water out of   
the bottle and cleaned the blood of his hands. “You okay now?” Sam nodded. 

“Yeah for now… lets salt and burn her so we can go back to the motel.” The salt and burn was quick, Sam stood to the side and let Dean and Caleb do most of it, rubbing his hands together every once in awhile. The ride back to the motel was quiet, and Sam made a beeline for the bathroom the second they stepped through the door, locking the door to keep his brother and Caleb on the other side. 

He peeled off his jacket wincing at a pain in his side, he must have hit a branch when he hit the ground in the woods, the gash was painful but not life threatening, he would deal with it later, for now he just wanted to get the blood off of his hands. He kept the water lukewarm this time, not wanting a repeat of the incident weeks earlier. He scrubbed gently, just wanting to get the blood off of his hands, but not wanting to cause any damage. He jumped when he heard a knock at the door. 

“Sammy open up.” Dean called. 

“In a minute!” 

“No now, I just want to make sure you are alright.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“This isn’t a negotiation little brother, open up.” Sam sighed, he knew if he didn’t open the door, Dean would kick it down, so he unlocked it, and sat down on the toilet with a towel drying his hands. Dean crouched down in front of him. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah I’m fine… I just had to get the blood off.” Sam continued to pat his hands with the towel, and flinched when Dean reached up to grab it, but it was okay, he was touching the towel, he wasn’t touching Sam. 

“Enough Sammy, you’re hands are clean I promise.” Sam nodded and let go, allowing Dean to put the towel on the floor. Dean stood and Sam followed suit, but as he attempted to walk by Dean and into the main room, Sam flinched away as Dean caught him by the shoulder, but Dena didn’t let go. 

“Dean, let go please?” 

“Sammy, you are bleeding.” 

“It’s just a scratch, please Dean stop it!” Sam was breathing heavily now, attempting to pull away from Dean’s hold. 

“Sam stop it! Let me look!” 

“NO! Let go!” Caleb was standing back watching the scene as Dean pulled Sam out of the bathroom. Dean grabbed Sam by the wrists as gently as he could while still maintaining control, and he pushed Sam down on the bed. 

“Sammy please… I need to look, let me. Don’t you trust me anymore?” Sam looked up sharply. 

“Of course I do…” 

“Then I promise everything will be fine, just let me fix you…” Sam took a deep breath, and he was shaking but he nodded his head, and let Dean pull up his shirt.

“I am just gonna clean it up and put on some butterfly strips okay? It doesn’t need stitches.” Sam nodded; he was obviously going back into quiet mode. 

Once Sam was stitched up he rolled onto his side away from Dean and went to sleep, Dean watched his brother before turning to Caleb who had stayed quiet through out the freak out. 

“I don’t care what any of you say something is wrong with my brother, and I am going to figure out what, with or without the Brotherhoods help…” Dean said darkly. 

“I know you are…” Caleb replied. “And I am with you all the way. We will figure this out Deuce, I promise.”


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

When Sam woke up the next morning everything was fuzzy and he was confused. He remembered the hunt the night before, but he didn’t know what had happened after that. He shifted and felt a slight sting coming from his side, and jumped when he realized Dean was asleep on the bed next to him, leaning against the headboard with his head leaning down against his chest. Sam looked around the room, and saw Caleb sitting at the table in the corner, reading a magazine. Sam stood slowly, trying not to wake his brother and walked over to the table. Caleb heard Sam get up, but he sat silently waiting to see what he would do. Sam slid into the seat across from Caleb. 

“How you doing kid?” 

“M’fine…” Sam answered, wincing as he shifted. “Did I get hurt?” 

“Just a scratch and some bruised ribs from getting thrown to the ground last night Deuce fixed it up, don’t you remember?” 

“Kinda… we killed the shapeshifter right?” 

“Actually you killed the shapeshifter, silver knife to the heart, job well done Sammy.” 

“Yeah I remember that… I had her blood all over me.” Caleb shifted uncomfortably, trying to decide if he should wake Dean up or not. 

“It’s all gone now Runt, don’t worry about it.” Sam tensed. 

“I freaked out again, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did.” Dean answered. Caleb and Sam turned towards Dean whose eyes were now open and watching Sam carefully. 

“I’m sorry Dean…” 

“I’m not mad at you Sammy, I just want to know what is going on with you.” Sam swallowed harshly, and he wrapped his arms around his body. 

“I can’t explain it…” Dean sighed and made his way over to the table, sitting between his brother and best friend. 

“Try. I can’t help you if you don’t let me in… What the hell is scaring you?” 

“I just having been feeling right since I had that dream about Mom and the Yellow Eyed man.” 

“Sammy… he isn’t gonna hurt you.” Caleb said.

“I’m not scared he is gonna hurt me… I’m scared of what he did to me.” 

“We don’t know that he did anything.” Dean said. 

“No, you don’t want to think he did, I know he did. I can feel it, I’m different, and I’m not clean…” 

“Okay kid, enough of that… anyone else talks as much shit about my little brother as you have in the past few weeks, I would be pounding them into the ground, you don’t get to do it either.” 

“Dean…” 

“No. Enough. I can deal with you arranging the shampoo by size, and taking an hour to fold your clothes perfectly so you can put them away in your duffle, but there is nothing unclean about you…” 

“You don’t know that De…” Sam whispered. Dean lifted his brother’s chin so he could look him in the eye. 

“I don’t care what he did to you Sammy, I know who you are. You are the best of all of us… You are a good person Sammy… You’re all good.” Sam’s eyes were glassy, and he nodded. 

“Okay Dean.” 

“Say it Sammy.” 

“I’m all good…” Dean smiled softly. 

“Okay, go get cleaned up so we can head back to the farm.” Sam nodded and went into the bathroom, the water turned on a few minutes later. 

“Do you think he believes anything you just said?” Caleb asked. 

“I don’t know… but I will tell him over and over again until he believes it.” Caleb nodded. 

“Do you believe it?” Dean quirked his eye at Caleb.

“Sam is a good person Damien… and I mean hell even if he was the antichrist, he would still me my brother, and I wouldn’t let him do this to himself.” Caleb sighed. 

“You know Deuce, there is a good chance that something happened to Sam in that nursery… those dreams didn’t just appear by themselves.” 

“I know… but I’m not gonna let anything get to Sam, I don’t care what that son of a bitch did to him. Give me some credit Damien, I have never gave a shit what people have said about you, I’m not gonna care what people say about Sam.” Caleb couldn’t deny that the Winchester’s had been accepting of him, even when rumors of his demon heritage began to surface. 

“Alright so how are you gonna handle this? Cause your Dad seems to have himself convinced nothing is wrong.” 

“I don’t know if Sam will ever be the same as he was, but I am gonna get it through his head that there is nothing wrong with him. I mean he can be a clean freak all he wants, but this waking up from nightmares, scared he is going to taint me, scratching himself all to hell bullshit is gonna stop.” 

“Can I give you some advice?” Caleb asked. Dean nodded. “I know it isn’t the same thing, but when I started having visions and stuff, it messed me up for awhile… even after I knew what they were, and I appreciate that I had family to help me through it, but I kinda had to heal myself… so be there for Sam, but you can’t force him to feel better, he will come around when its time. Just be his brother.” 

“How? How do I just be his brother in this situation?” Caleb laughed softly. 

“You do not need me to tell you how to do that. You have never needed anyone else to tell you how to deal with Sammy. You aren’t gonna screw up that job.” 

“Okay… well, we will get him back to the farm and take it from there.” Dean stood and began to pack up his bags, so they could leave as quickly as possible. 

“Hey Deuce?” 

“Yeah?” 

“You know… you are good too right?” Dean snorted. 

“Yeah, I know Damien.” Dean answered trying to dismiss his friend. 

“No I mean, everything good in Sam is because of you, if he is all good, then so are you. Don’t forget that okay?” Dean swallowed. 

“Yeah okay, thanks….” 

“Anytime kiddo, anytime.”


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

John Winchester knew he should probably head back to the farm, the boys should be headed back from their hunt soon and John knew he had to talk to his sons. He had left after Sam had punched him, and although the father in him wanted to punish him, he knew that he would have done the same thing in Sam’s position. He had called Sam a liar, something he knew Sam never was, and something he knew Sam hated being called.

John and Sam had rarely gotten along the past few years, and he knew something was clearly broken in their relationship. In his hunt for the demon he had handed over the responsibilities of raising Sam to his brother a long time ago, but now he was afraid he had broken something he couldn’t fix. Sam had never raised a hand to his father, but the anger he had seen in Sam that day had hurt John to his very core. Sam felt betrayed by his father, and John knew he was wrong in how he handled the situation, but he wasn’t ready to tell Sam the truth, not yet. 

John sighed and took one last shot of whiskey before dropping some money on the bar and heading out the door. He would stay at the motel tonight before heading back in the morning, and he would find a way to handle his sons. Caleb was going to be a pain in the ass too, but if anything the younger man understood protocol, and he would follow John’s orders. 

“Hello John Winchester.” John kept a hand on the gun that was tucked into his waistband and turned around at the voice. It was a man he had seen inside the bar. 

“Do we know each other?” John asked. The man laughed softly. 

“Well… you could say that. We have never met, but I have met your wife and youngest son.” The man’s eyes flashed yellow and John tensed. 

“Azazel… you son of a bitch…” 

“How is little Sammy doing John? I’ve heard he has been having nightmares.” 

“You heard? Are you causing them?” 

“Well… I may be responsible for them… but they are just dreams right John? Isn’t that what you told him?” 

“Leave my son alone! He has never done anything to you, he doesn’t even know what happened that night.” 

“Someday he will, you can’t keep him in the dark forever… after all he is as much my son as he is yours.” John’s anger was growing, but he knew there was nothing he could do to the demon.

“He will never be yours, Sam is my son, and he is going to be a great man… I don’t care what you did to him that night… he is one of the kindest, best people I have ever known.” 

“Well… he doesn’t get his niceties from you John… he gets just as much darkness from you as he does from me.” John shook his head. 

“It doesn’t matter, he has too much of his mother in him, and he has Dean, you will never have him, he will never be yours. Even if I have failed him, his brother never will. Now take your claws out of his head. I will not let you drive him insane.” 

“You cannot stop his destiny John, but this is getting boring anyway, I will leave Sam alone for now… but what’s done is done.” Azazel disappeared leaving John alone in the parking lot. 

John sat alone in the hotel room with a phone in his hand, trying to work up the courage to call his sons. Eventually he clicked on Dean’s name and waited as the phone rang. 

“Hello?” John frowned, because it wasn’t Dean’s voice.

“Caleb? Why are you answering Dean’s phone?” 

“Dean is sleeping at the moment, we just got back to the farm and he is exhausted.” 

“Okay…. Ummm… how’s Sam?” Caleb sighed into the phone. 

“He killed the shifter… but he didn’t handle having the blood all over his hands too well… he is having difficulty with messes and stuff, and the nightmares aren’t making it any better.” 

“Well… the nightmares should stop at least… and with it hopefully the rest will get better…” 

“John… what the hell did you do?” 

“I didn’t do anything, just trust me on this.” Caleb sighed.

“Was is Azazel?” John swallowed. 

“Yeah it was… I don’t know why, but yeah.”

“Okay.” 

“Okay? You’re just going to let this go?” 

“Yeah, I trust you to protect your kids John, just don’t forget you have people here willing to help.” 

“Yeah I know.” 

“When are you coming back?” 

“I’ll be home tomorrow.”

“Okay… I’ll take care of them til you get back.” Caleb hung up the phone.

“Yeah… I know you will kid.” John whispered into the phone, knowing that Caleb didn’t require an answer. Caleb was the Winchester’s guardian, nothing would ever change that, and he took his responsibility very seriously. 

John pulled into the farm fourteen hours later, Dean and Caleb were sitting on the front porch drinking beers when John made his way up the steps. 

“Hey Ace, how are you doing?” Dean lifted his head to look at his father. He looked tired. 

“I’m fine Dad, it was an easy hunt once Sam did all the research.” 

“Any injuries?” 

“Sam got tossed around a bit, some bruises and a small gash but he will be fine.” John nodded and looked around, frowning when he couldn’t find his youngest son anywhere.

“Uhhhhh… where is he anyway?” 

“He is in the barn.” Caleb said. “Working off some steam on the punching bags.” 

“Better the bags then my face…” 

Dean stood up and faced his father.

“How could you say that to him Dad? How could you make him feel like you didn’t believe him?” 

“Dean… we don’t know what these dreams are, but they are just dreams, they aren’t real.” 

“You really believe that Dad? Your sixteen year old son is terrified to sleep, and he keeps rubbing his skin raw trying to get clean, he believe there is something wrong with him. This is real to Sam Dad, and that alone make this very real. So do us all a favour, either be a father or go away and let me handle this, no more in and out, pick a God damn side.”

John stiffened and took a step towards his son. Caleb stood but stayed behind Dean, a presence in case he needed to separate two fighting Winchester’s. It wasn’t often that Dean and John got into it, but Sam was the one way to cause an argument, and a   
heated one at that.

“Watch your tone Dean.” 

“You are wrecking him Dad.” John visibly flinched at his son’s words. 

“What?” 

“That kid has always taken everything we have thrown at him, and he always learned to adapt to   
whatever situation we have tossed him into. He is strong, he is a hunter, and a member of the Brotherhood, but he is still just a kid, and sometimes a kid doesn’t need a father or his brother, sometimes he just needs his Dad, and for the first time, I’ve realized he needs something I can’t give him.” 

“What do you want me to do Dean?” John felt weak asking his son that, but he was at a loss, he really didn’t know what do to. Dean scoffed. 

“Go into that barn and talk to your son, don’t yell at him, don’t order him around, just talk to him, and if that little boy that trusted you with everything he had is still in there like I think he is, he is gonna start talking, and then I want you to shut up and listen.” John nodded his head, and headed back down the stairs towards the barn. Caleb stepped out from beside Dean and stood beside him. 

“Do you really think Sam will talk to him?” Dean sighed.

“I don’t know Damien, I hope so. All I know is Dad knows more about this then he is letting on, so even if he won’t tell Sam what he knows, hopefully he can help more then I can.” Caleb smirked; Dean wasn’t dumb he knew there was something more to this.

“John’s never been very good at the talking thing…” Dean shrugged.

“He’s never been really good at the Dad thing either, but he always comes through when the going gets tough.” 

“Yeah I guess… soooo we gonna go hide in the loft of the barn and listen in?” 

“What are you twelve?” Dean said. Caleb smirked. 

“C’mon, either we get to see Sam punch your Dad again, or we get to see John Winchester have a   
major chick flick moment with his sixteen year old son.” Dean laughed. 

“I’ll get the beer.” 

“Sounds good kid.” Caleb let the smile slip off his face as Dean entered the house, and Caleb turned back to the barn and rubbed a hand over his face. “C’mon John, don’t fuck this up.”


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: 

John stood by the barn door for a few minutes watching Sam as he continues to beat the punching bag over and over again. He was sweating profusely, and his bare chest was bruised, curling around to his back. John sighed and finally entered the barn. 

“I was wondering when you were actually going to walk through the door.” Sam said, keeping his back to his father. John wasn’t surprised that Sam already knew he was there. 

“You shouldn’t be over working yourself in here kiddo, looks like your chest hurts a little bit, and this isn’t gonna help.” 

“They’re bruises Dad, nothing broken.” Sam finally turned around and wiped his sweaty bangs off his forehead. “What do you want Dad?” 

“I wanted to apologize to you.” Sam quirked an eyebrow at his father. 

“For what?” 

“I shouldn’t have told you to reign in your imagination when you told me about the dreams… I know they freaked you out and I should have been more sensitive.” 

“Okay? I don’t know what you expect me to say to you.” 

“Look Sammy, I’m not good at stuff like this… but I am sorry about what you saw, that you had to see what happened to your mother, but I just wanted you to know that her death had nothing to do with you.” Sam scoffed. 

“How do you know that? That demon did something to me that night, I can feel it pumping through my veins Dad!” 

“Is that why you keep trying to scrub your skin off? Is that why you keep trying to get clean?” Sam tensed and looked back down to the ground. “Sammy… please talk to me, just like you used to…I just want to help you.” Sam sniffed and when he looked back up there were years in his eyes. 

“Is all this my fault? Is it my fault Mom is dead?” Sam whispered. 

“No Sammy it isn’t.” 

“How can you be so sure of that?” John ran a hand through his beard and took a step closer to Sam, putting a hand on the boys shoulder, silently wondering to himself when his boy had gotten so tall. 

“Look, even if that demon came for you, even if your Mom died protecting you, I swear on everything I believe in I will never place that blame on you. None of this is your fault Sammy, you and Dean are all I have left of Mary and she would be so proud of who you have become. Her death will never be on you, no matter what.” Sam shook his head frantically.

“Dad you don’t understand… something is wrong with me, I can feel it, I’m not pure.” John swallowed and took a chance, wrapping his arms around his youngest son; he was relieved when Sam didn’t pull away. It had been years since they had been this close when they weren’t sparring or fighting. 

“You are going to be fine… there is nothing wrong with you… and I am never going to let anything happen to you.” Sam took a shaky breath, and squeezed John a little bit tighter before releasing him. 

“Okay Dad… thank you…” 

“Are you going to be okay Sammy?” Sam wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and smiled weakly.

“Yeah I’ll be okay.” 

“Are you sure?” Sam laughed lightly, and tension leaked out of his shoulders.

“I’m a Winchester, we’re always okay.” John laughed too, and followed Sam out of the barn and back towards the house. 

Caleb and Dean climbed down from the loft and stood outside the barn watching the porch door that Sam and John had just walked through. 

“Well they hugged that was something ain’t it?” Caleb said. Dean sighed. 

“Yeah… I believe that is the most sincere conversation they have had since Sammy turned thirteen.” 

“Alright well ready to head inside?” 

“Yep, time for a good old fashion family dinner.” Dean and Caleb made there way into the kitchen where Pastor Jim was making sandwiches for everyone. To anyone else looking in, nothing had changed in the family, but everyone on the inside could sense a cloud of anger and disappointment had disappeared. There was no telling how long that would last for, but for now the happiness that was felt by all the family members was enjoyed. 

When they sat down to eat Dean smiled silently to himself, not reminding Sam that he had forgotten to wash his hands.  
THE END.


End file.
